31/365 The Return of the Brown Teddy

ONE MONTH DOWN 11 MORE TO GO!!!

I was feeling a little overwhelmed today. You know when you suddenly have a whole heap of stuff to get done and no time to do it in and yet even had you been "more prepared" it wouldn't have changed anything because there just really wasn't any time?

So what did I do to solve my dilemma? What any self-respecting procrastinator would do of course - collapse on my bed and stare at the ceiling for a prolonged period of time then wake up shocked that I fell asleep in the first place only to find myself clutching brown teddy whom I wasn't even aware had joined me on the bed.

I think that's why this project has been so good for me so far. There is no time to procrastinate, no "its okay I can take pictures tomorrow," I've just got to get on with it an take a photo each day. In some ways this last month has been one of the longest in my life, and in other ways I am left wondering where the days went?! 

Todays photos are okay because they are more like a diary of what I did this afternoon, but I have to say that I am really excited about a few ideas that came to me this evening and can't wait to get to give them a go!!! hehehe :-D

Sometimes I find myself lying on my bed staring at the ceiling just thinking my life away and it's so real that I forget I haven't done the things I thought of or I'll look our the window and realise that the sun has set and its hours past dinner time and I have no idea what happened to the hours. It's kind of nice though, a luxury I'll miss one day I am sure.

Until next time,

D.

30/365 Wading in

Two days a week I work on the opposite side of the city, we are talking 1.5-2hours travel each way in peak hour. So at the end of the working day I have 2 options

1) Get in the car as fast as possible and pray I make it through town before the first accident/breakdown blocks the entire road system like so much cholesterol in the arteries or

2) Go find something to do for the next 2.5-3hours and then take the leisurly 40 minute drive home post peak hour(s) at an average 80km/h

Today I chose option 2 and took myself for a lovely tour of the northern beaches of Sydney and discovered that taking photo's of the beach is a lot more challenging than I anticipated.

Of course who but me would plan a trip to the beach remembering work out gear but forgetting to even think about the possibility that it might be nice to go for a swim post photography session and therefore neglecting to pack swimmers. I mean I knew very well I wasn't going to go for a run! I NEVER run in summer unless it's after 10pm, the sun has disappeared and the night has stolen the heat from the day. But a swim! Now that would have been nice.

And also, who else would go to the trouble of lugging said gym gear on the 20 minute walk to the waters edge thinking that it also contains an extra lens that might be needed only to discover upon arrival that no, the other lens was in the other bag... you know the one you left in the car because it wasn't necessary?

Ahh well, at least I remembered my memory card, camera, tripod and remote... and who am I kidding, it was a fun excursion all the same :-D

Lot's of out-takes today and I will definitley have to go back... you know when I get around to purchasing a new remote that uses radio waves rather than infra-red so I can get further away from my camera... oh and that polarising filter probably wouldn't go too far astray either. don't get me wrong, I like this photo a lot, it's just not the one I have been dreaming of all week and I WANT THAT PHOTO!!!

Anyway, no long stories today, just rambling me. rejected photos are all over the place and you can find more of the ones I took in my new set On the Coast, as per usual I am completely indecicive about colour v B&W so almost everything you find there will have one version of each :-D

See, I was meant to be somewhere in the left 1/3... but my remote wouldn't reach dn it was too dangerous to use a 12s timer and attempt to run out there and I was too chicken to ask someone for help :'(

Or maybe I was supposed to me on the right hand side of this one...

Or quite possibly I was supposed to be in the centre of the whitewash here in a yoga pose...

Oh wait, no I was definitely supposed to be walking along the railing here...

And of course In all of these shots I was supposed to be wearing my red floor length gown.

And thats all she wrote. For today.

Much Love,
D.

29/365 Good Enough

29/365 Good Enough, a photo by Darcy89 on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
This photo about sums up my day. Nothing terrible about it but a little blegh, somewhat unfocussed and overall uninspiring. Being the perfectionist I am I was tempted to re-shoot (again) but hey, I've been exceedingly happy with at least the last 7 days of photos in a row, so I made the executive decision that I could take a day of respite, and that okay is good enough.

Tomorrow I think I shall aim to have some fun :-)

On the plus side, I think my skin retouching is on the improve, looking a bit more natural and less plasticy to me anyway. :-) So thats something good.

Thats all for today :)
Much love,
D.

28/365 "The Boots"

28/365 "The Boots", a photo by Darcy89 on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Please excuse my language but I just have to say that I have so much random shit in my bedroom... I am talking, glitter hats, wigs, masks, costumes, a whole collection of pole shoes, other things that do not need to be mentioned in a public forum and these, The Boots.

I stumbled across the boots (that I LOOOOVE... pity they're just not appropriate to wear to pretty much any occasion or location) when 'spring cleaning' (summer cleaning?) out my bedroom. And by stumbled upon what I really mean is that at some point in time in the last 2 weeks they got pushed out from under my bed and I have been tripping over them in the middle of the night ever since so thought I might as well put them to good use in my 365 photo of the day.

They were originally purchased for the pole studio's Christmas party where my burlesque class did a performance based on fairytales but they've also come in very handy when attending a "Pirates of the Caribbean" themed birthday party (where I caught the train into the city BY MYSELF wearing these, a floor length black skirt with a hip high split and a red and black corset... but that trip is a story for a whole other time)... suffice to say they will probably spend most of my life lying under my bed collecting dust, but they are just do hot I am never giving them up ;-)

Much love,
D.

P.S. I do not advise anyone try this pose for any length of time at home on a hot, muggy, rainy day... I learnt the hard way that it does wonders for causing head spins.

27/365 SPLASH!

27/365 SPLASH!, a photo by Darcy89 on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Who says children are the only ones allowed to have fun in the rain?!

So it's been getting a little heavy in my 365 photo stream of late and while I love a good thought experiment I felt like it was just time to get out and have a little bit of fun... thankfully it's been raining so I finally got the chance to go outside and splash around in puddles wearing my (semi) new gum boots, yayayayayayayayayayyyyy!!!!!!! :-D

Lol.

The story about these gum boots is that my best friend - we will call her Eddie - has on occasion worked at equestrian meets. Now Eddie is not exactly the country horse riding gal, much more comfortable in her high waisted skirts or branded gym gear is she. Anyway, she is away for work for a few days at this equestrian meet and it is raining cats and dogs the whole time. On the first day her sneakers (the only pair of shoes she brought with her) get sodden and she is left feeling grumpy and waterlogged the rest of the day. So on the second day she gets up early and hikes her way to the closest shopping centre in the hopes of buying some gum boots. To her dismay the only pair left in her size were a hot pink and orange version of the pair I am wearing above. She's not exactly the pink wearing type...

So what does this all have to do with me you ask? Well, immediately post purchase she sends me a disgruntled picture message bemoaning the outlandish nature of the gumboots she has been forced to wear for the remainder of the week, to which I replied... "OMG they are awesome!!!! I have to have a pair NOW!!!... where did you buy them?!" and proceeded to drive directly to the local shops and purchase the pair you see here. (I on the other hand wanted the pink pair but there weren't any left in my size so purple it was... not too much of a sacrifice I don't think)

And that is the story of how these AWESOME gum boots came into my possession.

THE END :-D

Much love,
D.

26/365 Australia Day

26/365 Australia Day, a photo by Darcy89 on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
"people usually only have access to partial truths about their lives, because most of us aren’t taught to critically analyze our role in society, and which cultural norms have shaped us how". - Jeana from this blog


In my experience photos with flags in them tend only to have meaning for the photographer and anyone from the country, state or association that the flag represents. So I apologise for anyone I've alienated with today's image but it reflects the space I am in today.

Australia Day, a national day of celebration of… ?

According to Wikipedia "Australia Day is the official national day of Australia. Celebrated annually on 26 January, the date commemorates the arrival of the First Fleet at Sydney Cove, NSW, in 1788 and the proclamation at that time of British sovereignty over the eastern seaboard of Australia." The fact that I, as an Australian by birth, felt the need to look-up an online definition for our national day should give you some sort of indication as to where my head is at at this point in time.

Don't get me wrong, I love any excuse for a public holiday (I am Australian after all ;-)). I love a good old pool party and BBQ with my friends, whats not to love?! If only I could leave it at that.

Forgive me, I will probably ramble a bit in this description as I try to unravel the thoughts running through my head and sort them into some semblance of meaning. One of the side effects I have noticed starting this 365 is that it is causing me to think more critically about all sorts of things (which I am not entirely sure is a good thing as I am probably guilty of over thinking things in general anyway).

It all started a few weeks ago when I was walking to my car thinking I should plan a 'meaningful' shot for Australia day but the more I thought about what that would entail the more confused I became. What is it we are celebrating anyway? What is our national identity? Sure we like to think of ourselves as funny larakins who don't take life to seriously and enjoy a cold beer at the end of the day but honestly I think we have moved on from that, if it was ever true in the first place it is far too oversimplified for now…

Anwyay, with our boring you with all of the details I was already in a questioning frame of mind when I was invited by friends to go check out the Yabun festival/ Australia day/ Survival day celebrations in Victoria park, Glebe. This festival celebrates the survival of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples and culture, and according to the event description is "the largest single day Indigenous festival drawing an audience of between 10,000 and 15,000 and is one of the most important Indigenous music events in the country reflecting the huge wealth of Indigenous creative talent. Alongside all the wonderful music, you can soak up some culture and area information from some of the community's most influential leaders." Of course I didn't know this at the time, I just said yes and went in blind.

Oh god, how do I say this right without sounding like a total bimbo?

I hope this doesn't get me into trouble but when I got to Victoria park it was kind of as I expected, 2 stages with live music, some stalls with food and others housing representatives from cultural organisations, aboriginal flags, people selling all sorts of paraphernalia with aboriginal flags on them or various other slogans and all sorts of people including large family groups and random others like myself just milling about. What I wasn't prepared for was the aggression and anger that seemed to underpin a large proportion of the festivities.

But of course, the other half of the festival name - survival day.

I'd love to say that I knew, because it seems so disgustingly ignorant now that I do, but I didn't know, it had never occurred to me that this would be the case. The cultural tension, it just feels to me like this sort of thing should belong to other peoples worlds, not to mine. It is terrible to admit but I am probably more aware of the overall cultural tensions in the USA than I am those in my own backyard. For many indigenous Australians, Australia day is an arrogant display of celebration of the "injustices by Government businesses and people including but not limited to the misappropriation by whatever means of land air water culture heritage and children and the attempted cultural genocide perpetrated by past and present Federal and State Governments" reference

It is difficult to feel like by default you are on the side of the wrong-doers when as an individual your only transgression was to be born and remain ignorant of anthers plight, and yet still, once a little less ignorant to remain in the dark as to what you as a single person can do to make amends. I think this is where discussions of a 'peoples' falls apart, because I fail to see how it is possible for one peoples to make amends for wrongdoings to anthers peoples with out some sort of compensation to the individual people that make up the wronged peoples but then how does one go about accurately defining the people effected and who (individually) should be held responsible for making amends when the wrongdoing was done so long ago thats the direct people involved no longer exist? and to what extent do you go, if the terms be financial compensation, to make amends? Do you go so far as to destabilise an entire country? But then what right does the country have to be stable? Or, philosophically, what right do any of us, anywhere have to 'own' any piece of earth to the exclusion of others anywhere on this planet we were born onto? To set laws that other people must abide by? Or is all of this questioning just some perverted way for me to attempt to abdicate my responsibilities?

Truth is that I may come from a "multicultural" area of Sydney and have many European and Asian friends but apart from watching Cathy Freeman win the women's 400m sprint at the 2000 Olympics my closest, most common interaction with anyone from "Australia's indigenous peoples" (in quotations only because the phrase makes me feel uncomfortable) are those who are homeless and/or loiter around the entrance to Redfern station and whom I tend to walk passed quickly, ignoring whatever is said to me. I don't say this because I am proud, I say it because its the truth and because it makes me uncomfortable.

And without trying to use it as an excuse and at the risk of repeating the most overused word this decade, in this sense I am one of the 'privileged' and is it not true that the privileged very rarely realise that they are so?

Anyway, I wonder if all of this made any sense at all. I find myself cringing when I read parts of it back which is maybe a good thing. I should probably re-write parts of it to make my points clearer but the process of writing it felt so exhausting that I am loath to go through and proof-read it all.

***
The picture itself is a composite of 2 images: one taken at Victoria park as I was leaving the festival and another taken when I got home. To me it represents reflection and confusion and a tension between two different national identities, one which I belong to and one which I would like to understand better but feel as if my presence would be unwanted. Comments welcome :)

25/365 the migraine

25/365 the migraine, a photo by Darcy89 on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
***WARNING: if you are eating, will be eating soon or have just eaten it is probably not a good idea to read this description - there will definitely be too much information. In fact I am probably delving into the realm of too much information in general so please, read at your discretion. ***

On this day I had a migraine, a relatively mild one by my standards (as in I was not so debilitated as to preclude me from taking a photo) but a migraine none-the less. My physio is going to be very disappointed when he hears the news but it has been a full 6 months since my last one and as I said, it was so very mild that quite frankly I call it a success. But wait, I am getting ahead of myself, lets start at the beginning.

I had my first migraine when I was 12. It was Christmas day - not exactly the present I'd been hoping for... since then I've had a few, maybe once a year, every now and then but it wasn't until I started on hormonal contraception that they became more frequent and by more frequent I mean every fourth Sunday like clockwork. Oestrogen withdrawals my mother calls it… apparently it runs in the family… awesome!

Now when I talk about having a migraine what I really mean is constant tension all down the back of your skull and into your neck a pressure so painful and distracting that can't be released no matter what you do and even sleep provides no relief; I'm talking about curling up on the couch in the lounge room with a pillow pressed so hard to your head you almost can't breathe because the light from the tv and the kitchen are too painful so bear but you can't get up to turn them off because even the effort of moving your arm makes your head spin and your stomach churn; or about your mother waking up in the middle of the night to find you collapsed on the floor next to the toilet because you just finished throwing-up but if the pattern of the last 15 minutes is any indication you will be doing so again in another 120 seconds only there stopped being anything to throw-up about 5 minutes ago so now you're just retching into the bowl and your so exhausted from the effort you don't even whimper as the tears stream down your face and you chant the words "make it stop" beneath your breath like a prayer of salvation to no one in particular. I am talking about the fearful anticipation you experience when you wake up on Sunday morning and realise after eating breakfast that it is not digesting the way it should and you just know that it's too late and no matter what drugs you take now they won't work because they won't be digested and therefore in a few hours its all going to start again. I am talking about the utter helplessness the total mental defeat you experience when it's your own body thats causing you to suffer and you feel trapped and hopeless within its walls because there is no-one else you can rebel against.

I am not talking about a head-ache. I am talking about a migraine.

For months last year that was my life, and it was scary as hell because a migraine doesn't just last for the period of time you're in pain, there is a whole 12-24 hour recovery period that comes after it. When your down its so terribly hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and sometimes you need help to start finding your way out.

My physio kind of specialises in migraine sufferers, as I mentioned, mine, we believe were triggered by Oestrogen withdrawal from the hormonal contraception I was using and so I thought that all hope was lost, I had run out of options and would have to deal with having migraines once a month for the rest of my life or… Anyway, he describes migraines like filling up a glass with a small hole in the bottom; different factors contribute to the rate of liquid flowing into the cup, factors such as diet, hormones, stress levels (both mental and physical), muscular tension in the neck (for me at least), weather, sleep patterns, etc. So when all of these factors are pouring into the cup at a faster rate than the hole at the bottom allows them to drain then the cup fills up and eventually overflows - presto! Migraine - but, if you can reduce the effect of some of the factors just enough to prevent the cup from overflowing then you can prevent the migraines. Now that sounds like fun :-)

So in the months since this educational experience, through trial and error, I have developed a kind of migraine preventative program: physio once a month to loosen up my neck (which I am sure is not assisted by my pole dancing but that is a hard limit and I refuse to give it up), attention to diet *sigh* sugar and junk food appear to be the main culprits which really sucks (girls: you know that time where your stomach becomes like a bottomless pitt and you feel like you could literally spend ALL DAY eating chocolates and scooping ice-cream from the carton? Yeah well that is especially the time I shouldn't :( ), also eating regular meals - skipping meals can be disastrous, 100mg B12 every day (or when I remember) because apparently some studies have suggested that in high doses it can prevent migraines - whether its a placebo or not its been working for me so I'll stick with it (a bottle of B12 is infinitely cheaper than any of the prescription migraine medications on the market anyway), and just in general paying attention to my body, slow down on the days I feel iffy, take a break when I am feeling stressed and take time out to just chill.

I've learnt that migraines are kind-of my bodies warning system that I am pushing too hard and need to slow down for a little while and now that I have come to terms with that it all seems a little more manageable. On Friday I felt the signs, I knew I should go home and rest but I was feeling stubborn and really wanted to go to dancing. So I did, and I paid the price. On the plus side though it gave me sweet inspiration for today's 365 photo and I got to test the new nasal spray migraine medication I was prescribed - best news ever - it works!!! :-D

Much love,
D.

24/365 Moody

I always respond to a challenge, so here is my interpretation of a "Moody" shot.

A few notes/discoveries...

1. I wanted the lighting and contract to be really harsh in this shot
2. Moody shots are probably better taken when one has a certain emotion in mind... I was tired and grumpy after a looooooooong day and couldn't think of any emotions worth portraying, so I guess you got tired and grumpy.
3. that said I really enjoyed playing with the lights and I LOVE the colour version of this shot, had it been any other day I probably would have gone with the colour version but today was for moody... so the B&W version won
4. taking photos is the easy part... its finding the time to edit, upload and write meaningful descriptions for myself that is TAKING OVER MY LIFE!!!!
5. I was thinking the other day that it would be cool to make a photo book at the end of the year as a kind of memento.... then I realised that even if I made it A4 sized with the photo taking half the page and the writing the other half... we are still talking 365+ pages which is like a Harry potter book... bigger even because the paper has to be photo quality... and from past experiences that would be very expensive.... :-S

Thats all for today.

Much love,

D.

23/365 Sisters

Waiting in line to see "The Intouchables" at St George Open Air Cinema (I know, again... what can I say? I am spoilt and there may be a few more of these in the coming days...). It was overcast but the temperature was comfortable and li'l sis agreed to be in my photo for the day :-D

Believe it or not we are actually in a rather crowded line with people only just out of the frame. I don't know what exactly they thought about me setting up a tripod and pulling funny faces at the lens while clicking away with my remote... when we started one guy was like, "do you both want to be in the picture?" and I was all like, "yeah of course we are both going to be in the picture, but don't worry, thats what the tripod and remote are for"...

Okay in hindsight (when playing back the exact way in which this went down, the details of which I haven't included here), this possibly might, maybe, kind of have been one of those situations where some guy tries flirting with me and I completely shut him down without intending to because it just doesn't occur to me that that would be anyone's intention when starting a conversation. Its a habit of mine that tends to drive my friends crazy... oops! :-S

Pity, he was cute.

Anyway, focus, back on track... Originally I was diligently hoping it would rain (I do a mean rain dance I tell you). I REALLY wanted to wear my gum boots (lets face it, taking photo's in them would just be an excuse) and I was hoping the rain would make it slightly more inconspicuous... because its perfectly normal to wear gum boots in town when its raining... *insert innocent, wouldn't lie to save my life face here* Of course this is all completely moot because do you see any gumboots in the picture here?!?!?!

But I won't complain because I got to see an awesome movie that made me cry from laughter, I got to waste the time standing in line taking some seriously fun shots with my sister, of which there have been few since she moved to Perth for uni and whilst I didn't get my rain the clouds proved to be a marvellous natural diffuser. :-D

Oh, and I guess I did get at least one shot in my gumboots.

Thats all from me for now.
Much love,
D.

22/365 In the rosemary bush

22/365 In the rosemary bush, a photo by Darcy89 on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Literally had about 30 minutes to get home, take a photo, have dinner and leave again :-S

This portrait was taken through the window that looks into my backyard; benefit = I could see what I looked like in the reflection in the glass, disadvantage = some weird reflection from the other side making my eye look weird.

I like this background though so I think I'll be using it again.

21/365 In the meantime

Monday nights are "date night" with dad and this shot was taken while waiting for my tacos and margarita outside the Sydney Opera House playhouses where they have set up a mini Mexican oasis complete with fairy lights, fake grass, sandpit and most importantly GIANT LEGO SET. The last of which i absolutely wanted a photo with but the damn ankle biters were hogging all of the equipment :-( Next time.

True to form I was lazy so didn't bring a tripod so had to get a bit creative with my framing. Also true to form I wore the most ridiculous shoes gaining myself a blister on my foot the size of WA. So as any self-respecting... aussie girl would do I took off my shoes and went around the rest of the evening barefoot. This was okay until I was literally 2 metres from the exit of Opera bar when a kindly security officer told me I had to put my shoes on because there might be glass on the ground.

Me: *looking around* everything is being served in plastic cups, where is the glass coming from?
Security: please madam you must put your shoes back on whilst in this area.
Me: okay *takes 2 giant leaps out of the designated area* thank-you for your concern, I'll be going now *continues to walk off bare footed*

Now this may not sound like much to you but I normally have giant fears of disobeying authority figures (and yes that includes security guards) so either my brain has been taken over by aliens or I got hit with a dose of dutch courage... Or the little shit within me escaped for an afternoon.

P.S. note to self: do not drink and flickr... apologies if anyone received incomprehensible comments on their photos last night, my bad

tacos, hot dogs, water, frozen alcoholic drinks, sunset and a giant leggo set... what more could a girl ask for?

Much love,

D.

20/365 Its all about the cap...

20/365 Its all about the cap..., a photo by Darcy89 on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
The first time I saw a "flat peak trucker hat" or whatever you call them (google told me so) I was highly amused. It was 2005 on a train heading to some WYD celebrations in Cologne. If you will imaging a train carriage filled to the brim of a group of Aussie schoolkid tourists plus one random disinterested local wearing his flat cap and sitting like he owned the world and was the coolest thing in it since sliced bread. He was so serious :-/... and all my 16 year old self wanted to do was reach over and put a clip-on-koala onto the ridiculously large, flat, brim of his cap, then walk away (see image in comments if you don't know what I mean).

I didn't, because I didn't have the guts... but I wanted to... I remember that clearly.

So you can imagine my reaction 7 years later when my baby cousins strut into my house wearing these caps... and then leave them behind so of course I had to get a photo. It's not that I think they are funny anymore, they seem more common place, its just that they seem to belong to a cultural subsection that I could never even pretend to belong to... no one would believe me for a minute.

So the original idea was for me to try looking all gangsta.... bahahahahaha! Those images have been deleted - well not really but they are NEVER going online. Since I can't pull off gangsta but still wanted the hat I decided to go with juxtaposition (wow haven't used that word since high school), gangsta cap, girly earring.

And there you have it. my story for today :-)

Until next time,
Much love,
D.

19/365 Home away from home

19/365 Home away from home, a photo by Darcy89 on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
A little over 2 years ago one of my close friends asked me if I would please please please do a beginners pole dancing course with her. I giggled and feigned disinterest but finally said yes. And the rest is history. Classes are a big part of my life now so its only fitting that they feature somewhat in my 365 project.

Look I know many people don't understand it - my grandmother being one although she tries her best - but I love pole dancing, live for it even. I could try to write down all of the reasons I love it, try to minimise whatever taboo nature you may or may not see within it, explain how 'empowering' or 'liberating' it can be - because it is - there is just something about being given permission to go somewhere, strip down to what could sometimes generously be described as underwear and dance in whatever fashion you happen to be in the mood for that day without expecting any repercussions. I could talk about how great a work out it is, how marvellous it can be for your core strength. I could make a whole heap of arguments to justify and defend this hobby I've become so addicted too... but thats not really the point anymore.

It's just fun. I can be sexy or silly like a monkey or a superwoman, a gymnast, a whore, a nurse (but not a naughty school girl because apparently much of the eroticism is lost when you actually look like you might well be underage...), uncoordinated, graceful and serious.

And its all just a bit of fun :)

18/365 After the rains

Thursday was another scorching hot day - the hottest on record in fact with the temperature in Sydney reaching 45.8*C compared to the previous high in 1939 of 45.3*C. I'm not complaining, I LOVE the hot weather, especially when I have either air conditioning or nothing productive to do. Today was the former.

Other random facts:

- in the past 107 years this is only the 4th time Sydney has had 2 days of above 40*C temperatures in the same calendar month.

- On average Sydney typically reaches 40*C once every 3 summers.

- For the first time that I can remember, city rail trains stopped working because of the severe heat.

The benefit of heat waves in Sydney is that for the most part they last for 1, max 2 days and then the thunderstorm/cool change comes through. You know even on the most sweltering, clear, cloudless of days that come 4-5-6pm the clouds will be rolling in and respite be on its way... that or there will be just enough rainfall to make the air grossly muggy and impossible to sleep through. However, this isn't the case in all areas of Australia as my sister discovered when she moved to Perth for uni... there they can have the same sweltering heat minus the cool change *shudder*

On this particular day my sister and I happened to be working on the other side of the city which, as I mentioned wasn't too bad during the day because we had air-con however... my car does NOT have air con and were we to drive home straight after work we might have faced a 2 hour+ drive home in 46*C heat (plus whatever magnifying effect being in a fishbowl like car has on the air temperature)... so instead we took refuge at my aunts house and waited until the cool change had come through which also meant t only took 40 mins to get home woot!!!! :-D

So my portraits today were taken at my aunts house with my cousins looking on going wtf is she doing?!?! I just missed taking photos in the heavy downpour that the cool change brought :( so this moment was just after the rains and just before the strong winds swept through.

This is how you cool off after a long days sweat :-)

I don't actually recall taking this shot... it was probably just me making sure my remote would work with the fly screen in the way... in any case I kind of like it, enough to post anyway :)

You'll find the rest of the 365 images here...

Yay time for another Suits episode :-D

Much love,

D.

17/365 Harbour time

17/365 Harbour time, a photo by Darcy89 on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Catching up on posting the last 3 days worth of photos... because at first I was busy and then I got distracted watching the TV show "Suits" :S... so now, for today I have come to a deal with myself - edit and post one shot and you get to watch one episode of suits, repeat. I should be done in a few hours or so :)

Today's image was taken at Mrs Macquarie's Point, a favourite location of mine but I've never actually taken any photo's there. I was at the St George Open Air Cinema on the harbour with some of my family and my Auntie Dianne was kind enough to leave the location to join me in my little photo-shoot, minding my camera and gear while I jumped over rocks and ran around like a crazy woman, oh and making sure the wind didn't blow my tripod away when it was precariously perched upon some rocks leading into the harbour :-S

I don't know if I've mentioned it but I actually have a fear of taking photo's in public... or more that I have a fear of appearing to have the intention of taking photo's in public... you know it's okay if I happen to be in a place and happen to take a photo but to appear as if I came to a location with the intention of taking a photo is a big no-no... bringing a tripod and remote shutter release and taking self-portraits would definitely come under this banner... so even though this is a popular sunset location for photographers, this was kind of a big deal for me, and I'm kind of a little chuffed that I went ahead with it :-)

As for the photo itself...

On this night I had a conversation with my aunt (who is having a marvellous time following my photos on my blog) and she said that she worries because I am always putting myself and my photos down and I should really be much nicer to my work. This confused me because although I may discuss improvements I would like to make "next time" I am generally more than satisfied with the photos I post but then I guess I don't actually say that... because to me the positives are just obvious so why talk about them?... oops.

For the most part this photo turned out exactly the way I pictured it in my head. I had intended to have myself and the background, everything but the sky in silhouette but found that I liked the slight definition of my white shirt etc. This decision made I would have liked to have tome t wait for the boat in front of the opera house to leave the image but it was 8:15 and our movie started at 8:30. As it happened the exit we had used to get out of the designated movie area had been closed for re-entry so we had to jump a fence to get back into the area :-S... I felt guilty about that so walked back to the official entry area and asked them to re-scan my ticket... the woman was perplexed and may have thought I was very dodgy LOL

***
Darcy's 365 project so far...

Much love,
D.

16/365 WIP Shower water

As the title of this photo says, today's publication is still a work in progress. Don't get me wrong there is nothing inherently terrible about this picture its just that it doesn't yet have "the look" I was going for in post processing yet so I'll want to work on that. But for now I am running out of time in my day and might not be able to publish anything for the next few (but I'll still be taking those photos) so I wanted to get this out while its fresh.

To be honest, in my head I think there are 2 or 3 conflicting versions of this photo in my head and thats why I am having so much trouble deciding how to process it. One is really high key and dreamy, another is kind of grungy and yet another is kind of etherial and in colour... so if anyone has any suggestions I am all ears :D...

If not then I can spend hours doing this and that - finding my way around photoshop again (which I actually love doing) - until I produce something along the lines of the image in my head. Who knows, once thats done I may decide I like this one better anyway ;)

***
Photo taken using the wondrous light box that is my bathroom


Darcy's 365 project so far...

Thats all for today,
Much love.
D.

15/365 Through the looking glass

Bleagh!

Today was not a good day for me photography wise. Everything else was fine I just didn't have the patience to focus and take a decent picture. Although I really like how this one finally turned out :-) it is nothing like my original idea for today :-(

I discovered something about myself today - I don't like being pressured for time, not when I have a very specific idea anyway. Also, if I am not careful and I come back from a location shoot without anything I am particularly happy with then I also, maybe, sort of have a tendency to get frustrated with and stop paying attention to the details of a scene such as; will this lighting be conducive to taking portraits at this time of day? - you know, kind of important stuff and then would subsequently become even more exasperated when these new shots were not working straight away. Grrrr..... Or maybe I was just in a crappy mood today and am still trying to deny it to myself.

Anyway, this image was really interesting to create. It was like an exercise in year 9 physics. I knew that there must me a method of taking a portrait using a mirror without seeing the camera in the shot - reflective angle and all that - but I had never given it a try. So, I figured I'd just use trial and error to figure it out. Whilst it appears in this photo (to me anyway) that I am looking at myself in the mirror and seeing the same image you're seeing, the angle if the mirror is actually such that if I were to look directly in the centre of it I would see the lens of my camera and to create an image that looked like the one above I had to "fly blind" so to speak and focus my gaze in completely random places ( click on the photo to go to the Flickr website and scroll over the notes on the photo to see where my gaze ended up landing).

*** 

Photo taken in my bathroom using a mixture of ambient lights

***

My original idea, the one that got crushed, had me running down a hill at our local park only I knew when I started out that I wouldn't have much time (maybe 10 minutes?) and on top of that I conveniently forgot how allergic I am to the particular type of grass at this park (oops :-S). So running down the hill barefoot during bindi season after a wave of warm weather that had succeeded in giving the grass that nice (sarcasm warning) crunchy feeling turned out not to be such a good idea and after a few unsuccessful tries I was reluctant to reframe and go for another round... if you know what I mean. o_0

Nevertheless I'm still quite partial to the idea so I do think I'll give it another go... when I have lots of time... and maybe after a month or so of heavy rainfall :-P

No one can ever say I didn't suffer for my art!

*** 

Photo taken using plain old afternoon sunlight

***

There were a few other concepts attempted today, but as I said, I was in a mood by that point in time (which I like to think is rare for me) and if it wasn't working I was quicker to scrap it and move on to a new something than I was to make the necessary adjustments to make it work.

Darcy's 365 project so far...

Thats all for today :D
Much love,
D.

14/365 Hijacked

14/365 Hijacked, a photo by Darcy89 on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Oops, sorry guys, no artsy well planned/thought out shot today. As the title says, I kind of hijacked my 365 portrait project to use as a memory aid... because I kind of like this outfit.

That is all :)

Much love guys,
D.

***
Photo taken at the side of my house mid afternoon, no additional lighting aids used.

Darcy's 365 project so far...

13/365 The masks we wear

For once I find that I don't really have much to say. It's been drizzling constantly all day (except for the 30 seconds where I was running from my car back into my house, during which time it decided to poor) and so, as I do most of the time in such grey weather I was feeling a bit lazy and didn't really want to try anything fancy. Just take a photo and have it done with.

 

I'm loving this 365 self-portrait project so far. Especially the "typical" - shall we call them - portraits. I find that through them I am really looking at myself for the first time in so long that I can't even remember the last time. Have I ever? Not the kind of looking where you're glancing at your outfit as you get ready to walk out the door or getting so close to the mirror in an attempt to examine the latest blemish that your breath starts fogging up the glass, but looking, seeing, an image and a person, vulnerabilities and strengths and finding something strong enough to love about each of them that I feel satisfied - and hey maybe a little proud - to publish them on the ever unforgetting internet.

 

I am not saying I hated looking at myself before, I just don't think I ever took the time to do it. And there is something different about these pictures, even than all those other thousands that get posted after every outing on Facebook. Those pictures remember an event. These pictures a person. Please forgive me if I leave it there, I feel these few paragraphs have been clumsy and are only half there but I just haven't had time to think through an eloquent synopsis of the way I'm feeling. Its a start, maybe I'll review it later.

 

On another note - I AM SO TOTALLY FRUSTRATED BY THIS 365 PROJECT AND MY CAPS LOCK KEY WHICH WONT LIGHT UP TO LET ME KNOW WHEN CAPS IS ON!!! (Mac keyboard). I find taking photos of other people and places so natural and thats so to some extent even when developing ideas for the images I want to create in this project. It's so simple, I see, I frame, I choose some settings I may even give the subjects just a little bit of direction, half press the shutter to focus on my chosen focus point and - presto! I have an image. An image which the majority of the time I am satisfied with - give or take some minor exposure adjustments. But making a reality of the self portraits in my head is infinitely more frustrating. I wouldn't say its more complicated but certainly more frustrating. The framing, the focus points, the changing light, the changing angles of my face, my stupid eyes that are always getting distracted and my mouth that is so intent on showing the world every worried thought that passes through my head. I have all of these images that are in my "almost there pile" and it's just so vexing to know that if I were taking the same photo of someone else I would not have made that mistake and we could then quickly move on. All I want is to be able to see the image I am about to take before I take it - IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?!?!

 

Phew! Thanks for letting me get that out. I feel much better now :D... I guess I did have something to say after all.





 

 

This image is the black and white version. It's nice and I really loved how this treatment brought more attention to the metal mask but in the end, as I almost always am, I was just a little teensy bit more attached to the colour version.

 

 

This image is a different, earlier shot from todays 365 image photoshoot. It's perfectly okay I think I just liked the emotion the other "official" image showed.

 

So which one would you have picked? Let me know.

 

***

These photos were taken in my bedroom with the window at my back and white sheets thrown all over the place to get rid of any distracting objects (no joke, my room looks like a war zone right now... I guess I had better go and clean it up :S)

 

Darcy's 365 project so far...

12/365 The secret life of a Brown Teddy

12/365 The secret life of a Brown Teddy, a photo by Darcy89 on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Meet Brown Teddy. He is sort of part of the story that led me to begin this 365 journey, so it only seemed fitting that he get his own cameo appearance.

When I was a child he was my most precious soft toy. If our house were to burn down in the middle of the night (a great fear of mine at the time that resulted in the installation and regular maintenance of smoke detectors in our house) it wouldn't have mattered to me as long as Brown Teddy survived. We had our escape plan rehearsed and ready - I knew that in event of emergency all I had to do is grab Brown Teddy, open the window next to my bed and jump the 2m to the ground... a few times we were caught by mum in mid practice, she was horrified and made me promise never to jump out the window again. Reluctantly acquiesced but conveniently managed to forget a few day later. In the end it was a fun adventure exercise but I always wonder if mum ever knew the reasons for its origin.

He has been well loved as you can see by his large patched of bare fur, scratched eyes and essentially see-through nose but eventually we grew apart. Big girls aren't supposed to have soft toys you know. However, unlike the thousands (not much of an exaggeration) of other toys that eventually made their way to St Vincent de Paul's, the Salvation Army or baby cousins... I could never truly part with Brown Teddy.

So for the past 15 years or so he has been living in exile, along with a select few special mementos in darkness at the top of my wardrobe. It wasn't until late last year when I was rummaging up there for something or other, I don't remember what, that he fell down and back into my life and I just haven't been able to find the desire to send him back yet.

It just happened to be that at the time I he fell I was in the process of setting up for some Christmas portraits - you know the ones, with fairy lights in the background and some tinsel or a santa hat on your head - so I put him to work as my test dummy. He sat patiently wile I set up the lights, adjusted my exposure settings and measured my focal distance... never once with any complaint. And it was then really that I rediscovered the joy of making a picture and as a result this whole 365 thing started. But we are getting off topic here with all this talk about me... back to Brown Teddy.

It wasn't until a few days ago when I was talking to my mother (who by the way has been mildly amused by Brown Teddy's re-appearance in my life) and fidgeting idly with him in my lap that I realised something quite significant in the life of my special toy...

He used to be a woman.

For the majority of my life he was a she and she had even given birth to baby teddy Honey (note: Brown Teddy is in fact a puppet & honey was perfectly sized to fit in the hole & thus, whether you call it a marsupial pouch, a womb, or a uterus Brown Teddy could be both pregnant and give birth). For all intents and purposes, in my brain, Brown Teddy was a woman. However, since his re-appearance in my life it only seems natural that he be a he. In my mind he is now so male that I find it mind boggling that I could ever have called him a her. Shocking that it took me this long to notice.

Which leads me to the conclusion that Brown Teddy must be F to M transgendered.

And to me that seems pretty damn cool. Go figure.

***
This photo was taken this afternoon in my backyard with just natural lighting and a few curves adjustments in post processing.

Darcy's 365 project so far...

11/365 Socks in the sprinkler

11/365 Socks in the sprinkler, a photo by Darcy89 on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Another 30+ day. I should stop complaining I know because in reality I love the warm weather... its just that usually I would love lying around in the sun or shade like a sloth all day, not running around the backyard trying to get a photo...

I was feeling a bit lazy and just wanted to get my photo over and done with so I could do some other things like be lazy in front of the TV or read a book or go for a swim... you know, things I've been neglecting the last 11 days. Ironically I think I ended up spending more time with this image in post processing than I have with any other in the series so far.

I discovered in the process of taking this photo that water droplets, like that which come out of a sprinkler are only visible to the cameras sensor at very specific angles. My eye can see them from all, my camera cannot. As a result, in order to have the water visible, the image(s) you see here had to be taken with a different (less desirable to me anyway) background but overall I think it turned out okay.

It's also the first image where, in an ideal world, I would have liked to used a more powerful flash. The sun was lowering at about 2 o'clock (if your looking down at the camera and 12 is the direction the lens us heading) and as a result my socks were in relative shadow yet my available light sources were not powerful enough to compete with the strength of the sun.

Anywho, another one down only 354. LOL!

The sock theme is for the Hereios group who's theme for today is sock whores

Darcy's 365 project so far...

10/365 The pole dancers hands

10/365 The pole dancers hands, a photo by Darcy89 on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
I've had this shot - or something along the same lines in mind for about 10 days now.

Pole dancing classes went back today after a three week hiatus. I've been doing it for about 2 years now and my hands show the evidence. Over Christmas my aunt (who knows all about my extra curricular activities and is highly entertained by them) saw the size of my callouses and immediately told me I have to stop - "Your a lady, your hands shouldn't look like that!"

Needless to day she is probably going to have heart failure when she sees today's photo (and she will, she reads my blog - Hi auntie Di *waves*) which is the result of a 1 hour class and the mixture of shaving cream, rosin and hairspray (for grip).

Not exactly lady like is it?

Anyway... in addition to being my first class back for the year it was also my first time in the advanced class :-S I fully expected to be incapable of almost every new trick I tried. However, it wasn't too bad :-) and apart from the inevitable bruises (don't laugh, I've had doctors and beauticians alike look at me funny and start asking probing questions when they see my bruises because they fear I might be being abused) and sore muscles that I expect to start appearing sometime in the next few hours... well it went kind of well.

Thats all for me for today.

Until tomorrow much love,
D.

9/365 Sleeping fairy queen

9/365 Sleeping fairy queen, a photo by Darcy89 on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Today was the first day I woke up and thought... shit, 365 days is a loooooooong time.

Don't get me wrong I am having a ball but this morning it just kind of hit me that this is the new routine - wake up think of a new self portrait idea, complete it, and in the mean time don't forget to do all of the other normal everyday stuff like work, and ... study, and... socialise with people IRL.

I know it's only been a little over a week but I feel like I've already done so much that I would never have even attempted had it not been for this 365 project. Everyday I wake up with a new idea (or 10) for an image. For the most part I am running blind. I am trying not to pay attention to what I "should" and "shouldn't" be able to achieve with the equipment I have on hand. The less research I do the better (which if you knew me IRL you would know is just sooooooooo against everything I stand for). I just set up my tripod and give it a shot. The idea is that if I can't achieve the shot, so be it, try something else, except so far they have all pretty much turned out... I am not sure if this is a good or bad thing... I swing from "oh shit the pressure, I've done it before I should be able to do it again" to "meh, If it works it works and if it doesn't *shrugs*" in a matter in microseconds, and it seems there is no in-between.

So what I really wanted to do today is take a moment to think about and confirm to myself a few things I have learnt so far:

1) Taking photo's everyday has made me more conscious of the world around me. My brain is constantly looking around and asking me: how can I use that scene to my advantage and turn it into a decent photo? How would I compose the shot? What angle should I shoot from relative to my subject? What focal length do I need? What kind of DoF would I find ideal? What kind of shutter speed would I need to capture or freeze the movement in the frame? Do I need to adjust the scenes natural lighting? What kind of post processing would be best suited to realising my concept?

All these questions constantly racing through my head! I tell you, if it weren't so much fun it would be exhausting.

2. You don't need an expensive kit to play with lighting. I always thought that if I wanted to create any sort of decent portraits I'd need to invest in some sort of lighting set up - and then I'd have to learn how to use that lighting set up, which to be honest was so daunting it paralysed me. But so far, in my opinion anyway this just simply isn't true. Every one of my images so far has been made using ambient light, on camera flash. an old black umbrella I spray painted silver to use as a reflector a halogen 'workman's' light that I bought on a whim from buntings (for the grand total of $30!), and... (my favourite of all!) an old translucent white poncho that I hung over an old costume rack to use as a diffusor for my halogen lights in my nude photo for day 7.

Not too bad for 9 days... if I do say so myself.

If you want to check out all of the photos so far, you will find them at the following web address:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thewarmthofsunlight/sets/72157632394611716/

Here's to many more days of adventure and education :-)

Much love,
D

8/365 Can you fry an egg?...

I have always wanted to try this!

Unfortunately... apparently 41*C is still too low to fry an egg. But it was worth a try ;)

In case you hadn't already guessed It's really hot today... like REALLY hot! (See appendix A) The kind of hot where there are power outages and people are sent home because it's too hot to work in offices without air-conditioning. The kind of hot where road traffic signs say things like "extreme temperatures postpone your trip" and my Facebook feed is filled with links to the NSW health departments guide to staying healthy in the heat (which for your amusement or academic pleasure may be found here.)

So my first photo idea of the day was for something involving ice and the extreme temperature. It didn't turn out exactly as I had planned but at the same time I didn't feel the need to work on it too hard because by then I had already come up with a better idea ;)

So here is the alternate AKA reject:

And just because I thought it would be fun...

Darcy's guide to surviving the heat:

1. Always have an icy cold drink in your hand - preferably one that has some kind of hydrating properties but who am I to deny someone their beverage of choice? (See appendix B)
2. If possible remain indoors within air conditioning
3. Always have an icy cold drink in your hand
4. Have a swimming pool in your backyard 
5. If (4.) is not possible choose your friends wisely... if you know what I mean
6. Always have an icy cold drink in your hand - no seriously, try it! I swear it lowers the atmospheric temp by at least 10*C
7. Frozen fruit is your friend! - Mangos, raspberries and pineapples are particular favourites of mine.
8. Drink....
9. Don't forget salt - its the other 'fun' ingredient in sweat
10. Be lazy - now is not the time to go running any marathons or even doing housework for that matter, and its not just me the NSW department of health tells us so too!
11. Don't make me say it again, you know what I'll say
12. Now this one is important... NO COOKING! Absolutely none! Not the microwave not the BBQ and certainly no ovens or stoves!!! Its not worth it. Plus its too hot to eat... too much to digest, salads and frozen stuff are your bests bets (see 6).
13. Go get another icy drink.... and hope to dear God that you don't run out of ice before the cool change comes through.

Appendix A

Appendix B

 

Thats all for today ;-)

Much love,

D.