oh no....

Oh no oh no oh no oh no nonononnonononononononooooooooooooo

I can't believe it's not butter!
I can't believe I was that stupid!
I feel so naked!

I never knew I was so attached... I always thought that I was a free spirit, free with no relationship to hold me down, no one else to be accountable for or annoy me with their nagging. I thought I was cool calm and collected, and that I would never be "one of those girls" who got all jealous and needed to know the who, where and when of everything that their partner plans to do for the next 48 hours... I was, needless to say, having myself on, the truth is you see, that I have been living a lie, the truth is, I am in a long term relationship... one where if I don't call in every few hours I start to fret and worry and go all crazy girl psycho... because... I don't know where they are and what they are doing and who is with them.... oh no... oh no oh no oh no...

This is what happens when I leave my laptop at home when I go to uni... how utterly pathetic.

Its made worse by the fact that I can, off the top of my head, think of three separate occasions this morning when i looked at my laptop charging and thought to myself "now I really must not forget to take i to uni"... so what did I do?

I did however discover today the torture that the normal student population attending my Tuesday morning lectures face every single week... I mean what am I supposed to do? Actually listen and learn from that man that stands up the front of the room and preaches to me for 2 hours non stop? How can anyone be taken seriously when they insist on shaving most of their balding hair off except a row of about 5-10 hairs thick which they grow longer and flick up so it resembles something inbetween alphalpha and that hairstye all the boys were wearing when I ewas in year 6 (back in the year 2000)... I'm sorry, that was mean... but its all I can think about when I look at him... so I normally don't and just concentrate on looking at the tetris game on my laptop whilst listaning with the other half of my brain, but today.... oh today... I was left with no choice.

And then, when I finally became numb to the characature that was standing infront of me, I got bored, and when I get bored I start day dreaming... and then I realise that I am day dreaming and hope to - someone - that no one in a 12km radius has the ability to read people's minds... because oh boy would they have gotten a brain full, and I'd tell you all here, but I won't because I just can't do that to myself at this point in time and mum is reading, and possibly dad, and its most definately not PG.... eek!

And then it ends... and I come home and caress my long lost laptop, promising to never leave again, and pay lots and lots of attention to it for the next few hours.

So here we are.
D.

new superhero.... its me! :-D

okay... Eddie finally decided that we are all worthy of another superhero... in other words she decided that I had been annoying her so much that it was actually worth a battle with her scanner to shut me up. And here is the result... its me... can you see the resemblance??? lol

I'm going to uni tomorrow so I'm sure I'll actually have something to write about then... bye for now

D.

happy birthday picture... only a few days late

Eddie sent me this today... it made me smile so I thought I'd share :-D

corsets corsets everywhere but not a drop to drink...

I don't know what the title means but it was just in my head so I wrote it... much like most of what goes in this blog... its like my normal filter that follows me everywhere in my everyday life is removed and I type everything and press "publish post" before a single intelligent neuron transmitter fires across a synaptic junction in my brain (where the F did that come from.... its like flash back to year 10 biology...)

Anyway that not what I came here to write about (your all just not doing your job... your supposed to keep me on track... otherwise I'll be here all night, believe me I can talk crap aaaaaaallllllllll night)

So, here it is, that thing that I have been alluding to and kinda sorta half telling you about in a not so detailed, it works in my head but not on screen kinda way. The thing that I have been spending then last 4 Sunday's making (only three of which were during actual class).


That's right my very first corset.... made all by myself :-D

Please ignore the person in these pics (although I have decided that I like her - me - its still a little weird having me up here... but it was made for me so who else was i supposed to get to do the job???)


Here is the front... ooo look my necklace matches - sorry I only just noticed this, what a happy co-incidence...

however, this type of corset is supposed to have a big puffy skirt to wear with them. Now I don't own any big puffy skirts, they are not really in Vogue right now if you get what I mean - sooooo 3 centuries ago - and as I plan on actually wearing this at some point this decade, well I will just have to find another solution... Personally I was thinking knee high leather boots, latex mini and doing a Brittany but... no, just no. So as an alternative, this is what I have some up with so far...

lets just say its a work in progress... and here is the back, you know just for completion...

Please note, that cute little butterfly on the front... I did that :-D. All by myself... its the first time I have ever attempted anything like it so I'm kinda chuffed. Note 2: is it just me or does it look like those mountains on my chest could be used as weapons??? Pillows??? Eddie don't look at me like that! You were thinking it too... they are just THERE. And you know that I always like to talk about the elephant in the room... and note 3 - they are not implants.

So that's it... I'm tired now so I don't think I like this post but I'm publishing it anyway because to tell you the truth I'm dieing to know what you think of it. So comment please :-D... I know I know I'm a comment whore, but you love me for it anyway right?

D.
(who is now btw 20! no longer a teen!!! and loving it... although it doesn't really feel much different)

Wow I feel really sick

*insert green faced emoticon here* :-S

So I figured out why people don't make their own birthday cakes... because you taste test the whole time and when its finally finished you feel sick - from your taste testing - and no longer want to eat it... :'( but it looks so good!!!... ahh well I have over an hour to feel better again... wish me luck.

D.

Celebrating the death of a teenager...

Yes that's right boys and girls, today at midnight it all ends, my life as a teenager ends, and I enter a new decade... the twenties! LOL I'm saying all this like I'll wake up tomorrow and everything will have changed, which of course we all know it won't, but its fun anyway.

So... how did I spend my last day as a teenager???

Well I was supposed to be at work, and I was, well, sort of... for part of the day anyway. Gotta love my boss, she let Eddie and I take our 'lunch break' at 11:45 so that we could go to a Urban Originals (handbags and accessories)/Milk and honey(fashion)/something else sale... It was goooooooood (Just incase you were interested, I got a white silk dress - which i forgot to check the care tag on and what-do-you-know... its dry clean only -, 2 bags, 2 skirts and a jacket) *oh the post purchase Euphoria is... its... ahhh!!!!!* :-D

I just love buying myself presents (because technically I am not supposed to be getting any from mum and dad tomorrow because of this whole incident earlier on in the year where someone *cough cough* left their phone in their jeans pockets - even though they swear to all that is good and mighty that they checked them and couldn't find them anywhere - and said jeans went through a whole wash cycle before they were discovered to be the traitorous beasts that they are, by which point in time it was too late... my the phone had drowned, and the moral of the story is that a new phone was bought in February as a very generous early birthday present.

And yes... Eddie let me buy stuff!!!! (apparently we have been saving for so long that we are allowed to spend for one last day before we leave... little does Eddie know... I haven't exectly been sticking to our diet...)

Speaking of 'diets', mum pointed out last week that I eat an awful lot of chocolate... like its kinda sliped into my diet and slowley but surley becoming a staple... so to prove her wrong and myself that I'm not addicted I decided I was going to go without chocolate for a week (from last saturday)... I lasted until Tuesday. Hmmm... I think I have a problem... is there such a thing as chocoholics annonymous??? Surely I can eat just a little, I can control myself.... I think...

Anywho, I'll keep telling you about my day as if you care :-P

So, we get back after our approximately 1.5 hour lunch with all of our goodies and then basically spend the next 2.5 hours tag teaming between actually working as we were supposed to be doing, and putting on a fashion parade for the joy of everyone else (complete with me, at one point in time, standing on what for a minute was my podium and doing a twirl - you know that thing the models do, taking their jacket off and flicking it over their shoulders as they walk down the runway then turning...? yea that - and all I was thinking was OMG this has the potential to be another one of those things that gets me into some seriously awkward situation (not that it stopped me or anything)... thankfully luck was on my side today and I was safe. :-D *phew*

And that was pretty much it... the work day finished...

So, now I'm home preparing to go to the movies with the supergero's and making myself a pinata cake/cupcakes, which is basically cupcakes with lollies inside a chocolate bowl that you have to smash to get through... dw I know the description is quite bad but I'll show you picks I promise :-P

thats all for today
Nighty night
Tomorrow I wake as a non-teen
D.

I'm so old!!!! *sobs histerically*

Okay now I must warn you that I am writing this whilst still in a very emtotional state... I normally wait patiently until I can see the funny side of something before blogging about it but this time for some reason I don't think its going to happen. I apologise for the high pitch of my voice as I speeak and I hope you can all lip sink because you will either be deaf or I will be speaking in notes only dogs can hear by the end of this...

Right, apologies made, lets go back to the start.

This Friday, the 8th of May 2009, marks the 20th aniversary of my birth... Unlike most of my cohorts -well until about 20 minutes ago - I was not dreading this milestone (well the only part I was dreading was the 20 and NBK part but I could live with that if I had no choice). Actually I was a little excited to finally be reaching an age where people can no longer lump me in with the group more commonly known as "teens these days"...

that was until my baby cousin (who is 6 by the way) found out how old I was.... do you know what his reply was???

WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED THEN?!!!!!!!!

WTF?!?!?!?!?!? Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!! These questions are not supposed to be popping up for at least another half decade. I mean I haven't even had a boyfriend yet. I haven't even been kissed for Christ's sake. And whilst I am acutely aware of tyhe fact that I am running a little late when it comes to the whole 'men' part of my life... I didn't think I had to worry about it just yet.... *wahhhhhhh* - I'm going in the corner to cry and sulk now... humph*

He then carried on, when prompted (I'll never forgive you dad), to tell me that in actualy fact, 18 was a good age to get married, from which I concluded that I am a week away from being 2 years past my used by date.

But thats not the end of the dabacle...

My most loving Auntie and Mother and my cousins Auntie, then took it upon themselves to remind me that THEY were each married at 21, 23 and 22 respecitvely.... What am I supposed to do with this infornmation???? Get a long term bf in the next week... I'm far to fussy for that "I mean look at how picky I am with my shoes, and they only go on my feet" (thankyou year 12 English), obviously there is just no hope for me.

*breathe breathe breathe*... its not helping.

So I think thats enough from me. I hope you enjoy this at my expense, I for one did not, and now as far as I am concerned this week will go: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday... 6 days and I'm sticking to it.

nighty night.
D.

P.S. The only thing that keeps me sane in all this is that now, when my lovable cousin turns 20, I get to ask him when he is getting married... see how he likes it!

The Gap

Yesterday while I was eating lunch (well morning tea really... it was 10:30, but I had finished all of my homework for the day and was bored... and I eat when I'm bored, a habit I plan and have been planing to break for an awful long time its just that by the time I remember that I'm not supposed to eat when I'm bored - or realise that I'm eating because I'm bored - well... its already too late and the kilojoules are already happily setting up house in my digestive system.)

Anyway, the point is that I was eating and I realised that I am really quite a messy eater (okay so I already knew this but it just doesn't sound the same if I write about already knowing... the process of discovery is half the fun). I mean, I am constantly wiping excess food off my person, I always seem to end up wearing more food (storing it in case I get hungry later if anyone asks) than I eat - especially when said food is Mersey Valley cheese and crackers - not very lady like really. I have always wondered why most other people don't seem to have the same issue as I do, or at least to the same extent, is it the way I eat? My posture? Am I just a grub? I think I have finally figured it out :-D its not my fault! No honestly it isn't!!!

Take a look at this...


This is a normal person (woman). Notice how the mouth/chin protrudes out from the body further than their breasts thereby allowing their uncontrollably, crumbly, messy food to bypass their upper body and land safely in their laps where a napkin is waiting patiently to catch it (or it could just all to the floor where any 4 footed best friend will gladly clean up/eat the remains). If their chin fails then the small gap between their chest and clothing will most likely not be large enough for food to easily find and take refuge in.

Now look at this...


This is me. Notice now how the food would drop straight to the breasts and due to the larger than life gap, more likely than not down my top where I am faced with the predicament of either reaching down my top and fishing it out, or... standing up and doing a little jig to shake it out the other way... not particularly graceful is it?

So how do I solve this issue? Short of wearing my napkin like a bib and risking looking like an over sized toddler waiting for the aeroplane to come flying in to deliver the overcooked, mashed, food processed Asparagus - or some other similarly revolting goop. Anyone have any ideas? Similar issues?

D.

P.S. Do you remember how I lost my macbook charger? Well it was found... too bad I'd already parted with my hard earned dough to buy a new one. Just my luck. Ahh well there's no harm in having a spare. Silver lining and all.