***WARNING: if you are eating, will be eating soon or have just eaten it is probably not a good idea to read this description - there will definitely be too much information. In fact I am probably delving into the realm of too much information in general so please, read at your discretion. ***
On this day I had a migraine, a relatively mild one by my standards (as in I was not so debilitated as to preclude me from taking a photo) but a migraine none-the less. My physio is going to be very disappointed when he hears the news but it has been a full 6 months since my last one and as I said, it was so very mild that quite frankly I call it a success. But wait, I am getting ahead of myself, lets start at the beginning.
I had my first migraine when I was 12. It was Christmas day - not exactly the present I'd been hoping for... since then I've had a few, maybe once a year, every now and then but it wasn't until I started on hormonal contraception that they became more frequent and by more frequent I mean every fourth Sunday like clockwork. Oestrogen withdrawals my mother calls it… apparently it runs in the family… awesome!
Now when I talk about having a migraine what I really mean is constant tension all down the back of your skull and into your neck a pressure so painful and distracting that can't be released no matter what you do and even sleep provides no relief; I'm talking about curling up on the couch in the lounge room with a pillow pressed so hard to your head you almost can't breathe because the light from the tv and the kitchen are too painful so bear but you can't get up to turn them off because even the effort of moving your arm makes your head spin and your stomach churn; or about your mother waking up in the middle of the night to find you collapsed on the floor next to the toilet because you just finished throwing-up but if the pattern of the last 15 minutes is any indication you will be doing so again in another 120 seconds only there stopped being anything to throw-up about 5 minutes ago so now you're just retching into the bowl and your so exhausted from the effort you don't even whimper as the tears stream down your face and you chant the words "make it stop" beneath your breath like a prayer of salvation to no one in particular. I am talking about the fearful anticipation you experience when you wake up on Sunday morning and realise after eating breakfast that it is not digesting the way it should and you just know that it's too late and no matter what drugs you take now they won't work because they won't be digested and therefore in a few hours its all going to start again. I am talking about the utter helplessness the total mental defeat you experience when it's your own body thats causing you to suffer and you feel trapped and hopeless within its walls because there is no-one else you can rebel against.
I am not talking about a head-ache. I am talking about a migraine.
For months last year that was my life, and it was scary as hell because a migraine doesn't just last for the period of time you're in pain, there is a whole 12-24 hour recovery period that comes after it. When your down its so terribly hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and sometimes you need help to start finding your way out.
My physio kind of specialises in migraine sufferers, as I mentioned, mine, we believe were triggered by Oestrogen withdrawal from the hormonal contraception I was using and so I thought that all hope was lost, I had run out of options and would have to deal with having migraines once a month for the rest of my life or… Anyway, he describes migraines like filling up a glass with a small hole in the bottom; different factors contribute to the rate of liquid flowing into the cup, factors such as diet, hormones, stress levels (both mental and physical), muscular tension in the neck (for me at least), weather, sleep patterns, etc. So when all of these factors are pouring into the cup at a faster rate than the hole at the bottom allows them to drain then the cup fills up and eventually overflows - presto! Migraine - but, if you can reduce the effect of some of the factors just enough to prevent the cup from overflowing then you can prevent the migraines. Now that sounds like fun :-)
So in the months since this educational experience, through trial and error, I have developed a kind of migraine preventative program: physio once a month to loosen up my neck (which I am sure is not assisted by my pole dancing but that is a hard limit and I refuse to give it up), attention to diet *sigh* sugar and junk food appear to be the main culprits which really sucks (girls: you know that time where your stomach becomes like a bottomless pitt and you feel like you could literally spend ALL DAY eating chocolates and scooping ice-cream from the carton? Yeah well that is especially the time I shouldn't :( ), also eating regular meals - skipping meals can be disastrous, 100mg B12 every day (or when I remember) because apparently some studies have suggested that in high doses it can prevent migraines - whether its a placebo or not its been working for me so I'll stick with it (a bottle of B12 is infinitely cheaper than any of the prescription migraine medications on the market anyway), and just in general paying attention to my body, slow down on the days I feel iffy, take a break when I am feeling stressed and take time out to just chill.
I've learnt that migraines are kind-of my bodies warning system that I am pushing too hard and need to slow down for a little while and now that I have come to terms with that it all seems a little more manageable. On Friday I felt the signs, I knew I should go home and rest but I was feeling stubborn and really wanted to go to dancing. So I did, and I paid the price. On the plus side though it gave me sweet inspiration for today's 365 photo and I got to test the new nasal spray migraine medication I was prescribed - best news ever - it works!!! :-D
Much love,
D.
Poor thing loved the photo descrlbes exactly what was happening to you Pain .. Love it
ReplyDelete