The 21st Speech that never was...

WoooooooHoooooooooo!!!!! :-D

As if you haven't already worked this out... there are two basic times when I post:

1. When I am procrastinating; avoiding study/assignments/some other horrible uni related thing, and;
2. When I am celebrating! (Usually the submission/completion of said assignment/exam or some other notable life event)

Todays post happens to be the latter, I've just finished an essay exploring the nature of freedom and control in organisations through an understanding of the ways in which employees bodies are managed (don't have a clue what I'm talking about? Well that makes 2 of us) :-D, which means that, yes, I am in fact wearing this cheesy grin on my face as I type... It'll hurt tomorrow but its worth it now :-D

Anyway, as some of you may know, last Saturday was the day of my 21st birthday party. It was a great evening with all my closest family and friends and one which I plan to post about in more detail at a later date (read when I have had a chance to look at and edit my party photo's... which if mum had her way wont be until after I clean up my room, bathroom and presents that are still taking up most of the public areas of the house 4 days later...). But for now I would like to have a little debrief... I think thats what I mean...

You see on this day, the day that was my 21st birthday party, life handed me a test, it was a sneaky subtle one that I didn't see until the time had long passed... and unfortunately I feel that in it I failed. The good thing is that I wasn't the only one that failed... we do these things as a family sometimes ;-). 

But I am evading the issue here... lets get down to business...

What happened was throughout the stress of the day, dad - aka Morpheus - asked me if I really wanted him to make a speech because mum (who I will now introduce as Demeter as I have finally found a name worthy of the woman she is) was already writing one herself. It was a subtle reference to my earlier request that he do everything he could to make mum happy on this day because that is what would allow me to enjoy it ore thoroughly. 

My response was basically a brush off "yeah sure whatever I don't mind, just do what you want"- thats the thing about hindsight... things always look slightly different... I didn't mean it in that way at all, my response was an attempt at keeping the peace and allowing the day to flow as smoothly as possible. It wasn't until later that I realised the true magnitude of that tiny seemingly insignificant exchange and understood that in a way what dad was really trying to do was ask my permission to say something publicly about the person he believes I have become, only he did it in a manner that allowed me to say no if I didn't feel his perspective to be important enough. This became especially significant to me sometime Sunday morning (well thats when I think I figured out what that slightly wrong feeling in my gut meant anyway) when I realised that not only had I cheated myself but I had robbed my dad of one of his own rights of passage in life, that of saying a speech at his first daughters 21st - and this above all else made me sad. 

What I am trying to say here I guess is that there are few times in life where it is really important to fight, when fighting for something, like say a speech, stops being about the fight or stopping 'the flow' and more about symbolism - fighting is the symbolic battle to prove to another person that they are important to you, that you love and value them. 

Dad, subsequently sent me an e-mail with the speech he never said, but these things are supposed to be published and so I present it here to you. I hope that by doing this I do not cheapen its message or those speeches that were said on the night. I love and appreciate them all, and hope you will too...

Darcy – the 21^st speech that never was.

This speech I suppose was intended to be in the front of all your family and friends as a sign of how much I love you and a chance to publically voice how incredibly dear you are to me.

My predilection to avoid conflict and allow others to shine works against me at times – unfortunately I think you have also adopted this trait.

Any rate here we go............

I first introduced you to the world at your christening – little did we know how your critical mind would unravel the various paradoxes of the church and use it to your advantage with a great trip overseas to GER – MA- Ne-Y for world youth day twenty years later.

That speech was punctuated with one particular idea:

“Having Darcy has certainly changed my life”

(At the time my greatest fear was getting up in front of people and making a speech – I suppose that’s why  I wanted you to have this skill from an early age so it would not become a problem for you.)

Well the nerves got the best of me and I must have repeated this line at least 5-10 times. In retrospect I was rehearsing to be a teacher to year 7’s – ‘put those pens down and eyes to the front!!!’

It really works because the audience were nearly reciting the words back to me at the end.

But those words obviously had a deeper meaning because before this time I only had one true love i.e. Demeter – now I was overwhelmed with you – I had fallen in love again – and this obviously makes me silly and in awe of the responsibility ahead.

You were the most beautiful addition to my life. The feeling you get when you hold your warm cuddly child in your arms is indescribable, contentment – awe – responsibility – caring – love.

I remember when your mum and I walked out of the hospital with you for the first time.

I was thinking ‘Do they know what they have done!’

We have no idea how to look after babies – we have had no training – how can we get such a special gift without a guarantee!!!

I am sure they have made a mistake and it will not be too long before they return and take you back.

But after 21 years I still feel so lucky that they let us keep you and we are just carrying you for a short period of time before you can walk by yourself.

Your first day at school was my first lesson in understanding your psyche. I had decided to take a new route to school - your rebuke to me was at first timid so I just ignored you – that was my first mistake – ignore Darcy at your peril!! A tantrum was to follow from which I have always learned.

Darcy is always right.

 “Just try this new soup Darcy”

“No, I do not like soups “saying with a conviction as if she has tried all know soups and has found them wanting.

“Have you tried a soup before?”

“No”

“Then how do you know”

“I just know!!”

No empirical evidence required for Darcy – I think this is why she dropped science at Uni – It was just a waste of time doing all those practicals when she knew the answer  anyway!

It also confirms to me that past lives do exist and Darcy has lived before – 

Why do it a second time!

 Darcy is always right!!

But this can change if she really wants to learn something new – especially to avoid some pertinent assignment.

It is amazing how many books, DVD’s series she can devoir – what concentration powers.

‘Nora Jones is playing again’ – don’t tell me she is cleaning her room – what is being avoided this time HSC studying.

It will all change when she gets to Uni!

How can you get such good marks without doing any study?  Your mother and especially me had to work really hard for our marks.

But little did we know you were always balancing effort over reward. Keeping sane is always more important than great marks.

This attitude has also trickled down into your working life.

You have a great capacity to work as -(insert accounting firm here)- has recognised but you have this wise outlook which enables you to look beyond the immediate.

One aspect of you Darcy that I love is that you CARE.

You care about your friends and you care about us.

Many times at home you have unselfishly put forward a plan to help solve a problem.

Thank you!

Lastly thanks for being a friend to me and all present.

There is nothing more that I enjoy than going out with you and just being in your company - this is a bonus to me – I enjoy your mind, individuality and courage.

Everyone here should count themselves lucky because you have been invited into a rare group from which Darcy will always be there for you.

“Has Darcy Changed our lives?”

Oh Yes and we are continually being amazed and inspired by the results!

Everyone be upstanding for our lovely daughter

DARCY!