Today I wanted it to be all about the hair... and to do that I took away everything else.
When I was younger my hair was a gorgeous dark brown - straight but for a slight wave in the middle. It was so simple to take care off, shiny but not oily never fluffy, always voluminous and perfect when allowed to drip dry. Then puberty hit - I got a terrible hair cut one day and poof! It was a mess! Bad hair days everyday, uncontrollable, fluffy and awkward - hairdressers were baffles by it, they had no idea what to do.
What I didn't know at the time and what I was finally taught by a friendly nurturing hairdresser is that the type of hair we have changes about every 8 years or so... and mine, aided with a few raging hormones had decided to curl. I was unsure at first - I just want my old hair back! I don't want things to change! I've had enough change already!!! :-( But she was so calm and gentle with me that day. Washing my hair she treated it with the care of a delicate flower that might bruise at the smallest touch. She spoke to me the whole times in those soothing tones we use when approaching wild injured animals. She wouldn't let me look at my hair until it was finally cut, dried and styled. And then she smiled and brought in my mother and both told me how beautiful and lucky I was to have such stunning hair.
I still wasn't sure about it. But I liked that it wasn't fluffy! and I like how they made me feel. On that day she and my mother would help me take my first few baby steps towards accepting and ultimately loving this crazy new body of mine - we all have to start somewhere right?
I have been blessed throughout my life with many such empowering memories. Times where people have valued and cared for me when I am at my most fragile, who empower and believe in me even when I don't understand why anyone ever would.
Its crazy right? Having that much invested in your hair? I'm not saying I couldn't live without it, just that for the moment its one kind of physical reminder of all that good stuff.
I think it's beautiful now and while yes I admit to straightening it at times to ease its manageability and portray a "sophisticated" look... I really just love my curly hair; it makes me feel wild, free, sensual and just, well connected to myself, to my 'being' if you know what I mean?
On another note... I am completely torn over todays photo... to be monochrome or to be colour - that is the question. I love the mood the monochrome version creates but then I am also VERY attached to the golden colour of the highlights in my hair in the colour version .
What do you think?
Much love,
D.
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